AEW Dynamite Results (03/31/2021)
Tonight on AEW Dynamite, Christian Cage makes his All-Elite in-ring debut as he takes on Frankie Kazarian in singles competition plus Miro & Kip Sabian hope matters go without a glitch as they battle Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy in Arcade Anarchy!
March 31, 2021, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur
Christian Cage vs. Frankie Kazarian
Bell sounds and tie-up occurs. Very intense. Frankie corners Cage and let's go. Cage headlock takedown and shoulder tackle for a quick cover for not even a one count. Christian arm wrenches and Kaz counters with a flip for a modified arm breaker. Side headlock by Cage. Very much a feeling out process. Frankie shoulder tackles Christian onto the stage.
Kaz talks trash and gets slapped for it, but a body drop puts Cage back on the canvas. Heavy rights by Kaz before getting struck with a big back elbow. Cage is propped up top and Kaz shoves him off and it sends Christian ass over tin cups to the floor. Boos for Kaz.
Guillotine leg drop through the ropes by Kaz who then wears the arm of Christian. Front chancery has Christian fading. Cage fights to his feet but Kaz hits some hammer throws before flipping down for a neck breaker. Two count.
Kaz keeps on the offense as Christian continues to battle to his feet. Palm strikes from Christian, but Kaz drops him to taunt. A boot in the corner gives Christian some life and hits his signature swinging DDT for a two-count.
Christian is finding some momentum and punctuates it with his surprise right-hand slap from the outside. Diving European uppercut from Christian. Two count.
“This is awesome” chants take place. He does a 13-punch count in the corner. Jackknife pin attempt by Kaz, but Christian sunsets it for his own pin attempt. Kaz goes for a chicken wing submission, but Christian turns it into a Killswitch attempt. He hits his patented reverse DDT. Kaz is down as Christian ascends. He goes for a diving headbutt but misses. Another cross face chicken wing. He locks it in on Christian. He slowly crawls and just makes it to the ropes with his foot.
An inside cradle gets a near fall but it’s Kaz who hits his big-time springboard leg drop for a very close fall.
Kaz soon goes for a superplex attempt, but shots are traded and Kaz headbutts him. Kaz hits a flux capacitor! 1-2-no! Kaz brings Christian to his feet and goes for another guillotine leg drop but Christian avoids and hits a frog splash. 1-2-kick out by Kaz!
Kaz gets to his feet and Christian goes for the Killswitch, Kaz shoves him off and into another chicken wing attempt. Christian shoves him into a ring post and Kaz stumbles into a Killswitch. 1-2-3.
WINNER: Christian Cage
We have a cut scene with Sting and Darby Allin walking across a bridge in Jacksonville. It’s Darby who calls out Matt Hardy. His money doesn’t mean shit to him.
Jade Cargill says she knew Red Velvet was shook when she saw her at first. She understands that it’s hard to not live up to her idol. She is that woman. “I am that bitch!”
Unsanctioned Exhibition Match
QT Marshall vs. Cody Rhodes (with Nightmare Family)
Special Guest Referee: Arn Anderson
QT gets no music and no entrance. Cody gets all the fanfare as the Nightmare Family totally surrounds the ring. Sportsmanlike lock up before the two reset. Cody trips QT up. He gets back to his feet. QT gets shoulder tackled down. QT leapfrogs Cody but two arm drags get the better of him.
QT powers Cody down to the canvas with his wrist, but Cody reverses and shows QT he could stomp on his head but doesn’t. Cody drop uppercuts QT and QT hits a dropkick. He concentrates on the shoulder. We go to break.
Back from break, it’s evident QT cannot outwrestle Cody who releases a Cross Rhodes attempt. “Cody’s Friend” chants get to QT who is out on the floor. He’s very frustrated, gets back in the ring, and slugs Arn Anderson. He walks onto the stage and he knows he made a mistake. As he turns his back, Aaron Solow, Nick Comereto and Anthony Agogo all attack the other members of The Nightmare Family with chairs and attacks. QT slowly turns around and Lee Johnson gets powerbombed onto the stage. Nick sets up the steel stairs on the stage (but not before hitting Arn’s arm over the barricade. QT piledrives Dustin Rhodes on top of the stairs. Solow and Nick hold Cody as Agogo the Gold Medalist jabs Cody in the gut. They send him to the stairs. QT is going to smash Cody’s head with the chair on the stairs, but Red Velvet comes out to stop him. She reasons with him and he stops. The New Nightmare Family all walk off.
Back from break, Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky are upset they’ve been pushed to the wayside. We see them sitting beside one another. They’re going to prove their point on Monday as they take on The Sydal Brothers.
Red Velvet goes to cut a promo backstage with Dasha and gets assaulted by Jade Cargill.
Earlier in the day, Moxley states how pissed off he is about Eddie Kingston’s ankle snapping. He’s pissed he still owes The Young Bucks one and that pisses him off. He still has burns and that pisses him off. He’s also pissed off he has to face a 6’5″ Cezar Bononi. One thing is certain: someone is getting choked unconscious and dropped on their head.
Cezar Bononi vs. Jon Moxley
Cezar and Mox go back and forth as Bononi shows his power. Mox focuses on the leg with a dragon screw. Leg grapevine by Mox. Single leg crab by Mox. Cezar powers free but his leg is in pain. Kicks to Cezar’s chest but Nemeth grabs the leg of Mox and Cezar shows his strength with a slam for two. Picture-in-picture.
Back from break, Bononi corner lariats Mox and is in control. He goes for a charging knee and Mox avoids it. Bononi strikes away at Mox, but it’s Mox who returns with his own hard strikes. The two talk trash and Mox launches him with a momentum German. He puts Cezar up top for a superplex. Bononi kicks out but Mox locks in an arm breaker. JD Drake hops on the apron, Nemeth gets nailed with a Paradigm Shift. Cezar gets control briefly, but Mox spins on his shoulders for a sleeper and knocks Cezar out.
WINNER: Jon Moxley
We see Team Taz. Taz reiterates that everything’s great, Ricky interrupts and is over-the-top happy, particularly with last night’s AEW Dark. Cage doesn’t agree. Taz tells them to cool it and assures all is fine.
We are backstage in The Pinnacle’s locker room. MJF reveals they have a new stylist and a new interior decorator. As MJF goes to show the bathroom, The Inner Circle is standing there. MJF closes the door and tells the crew they gotta go, but is thwarted by Hager. Big time brawl backstage. Sammy takes out Spears. Hager takes out Wardlow and Santana and Ortiz take out Dax and Cash. Jericho brawls with MJF in the bathroom and gives MJF a swirlie. He tells Max the worse is yet to come and sends him crashing through the Pepsi cooler. Inner Circle claim back their locker room.
Marvez is with The Young Bucks. He asks what’s going on with him and Kenny Omega. They’re interrupted by Callis. He wants to talk to Matt Jackson alone. He loves Kenny Omega and he thought Matt loved him too. Last week you broke Omega’s heart. He chose this place. He chose him and his brother. A choice based on family. Matt chose to leave him in the ring bleeding like an animal. Just like what happened to his dad. What has happened to Matt? He’s gonna go count his money. Don slaps him. Matt grabs hold as Callis begs him off. Matt lets go and Don asks him if there’s anything inside him at all. He says Matt makes him sick.
Lucha Bros. & Laredo Kid vs. Kenny Omega & The Good Brothers
Pre-match, somewhat unneeded translator Alex tells Kenny and The GBs that they’re coming for all their championships. LBs and Laredo take out their foes on the stage. They all take turns on Kenny when the bell rings. A triple superkick downs Kenny and pinfall is broken up. Big dive by the three onto the bad guys.
Bottom rope moonsault by Laredo. He then hits a second rope moonsault. Two count. They continue to fight and a tag made to Doc Gallows. Big roundhouse to Laredo. Doc gives Laredo some hard body shots. He is isolated by The Good Brothers. “Laredo” chants have begun. Kenny is tagged and he delivers some sharp elbows. Gallows shows his power on LK and we cut to break.
Back from it, Laredo Kid is still in the ring and a triple body splash by his foes gets a near fall. He hits a tornado DDT on Gallows to shift momentum, and Penta gets tagged for a series of sling blades. Rey gets tagged for a double stunner. Double casadora splash by the LBs. They stomp and Swanton on Karl. Rey covers: 1-2-broken up!
Once more they isolate Rey and a triple-team neck breaker nearly gets the win, but his brother Penta breaks it up. Karl hits a high boot on Rey and another near fall. Penta saves him from a Magic Killer and spinning kick to Canadian Destroyer on Kenny by Penta and Rey. Karl hits an Arn spinebuster on Rey. LK saves him. “This is awesome” chants.
Kenny and Kid get tagged and the two go back and forth. LK gets caught in a springboard and powerbombed down. V-Trigger. Near fall. He goes for a One-Winged Angel, but LK takes him to the outside and topes Kenny. LBs and Gbs square off. Kenny gets back in the ring. Rey kicks Kenny out of nowhere after walking the ropes and LK hits a Michinoku Driver for such a close fall. Kenny hits LK with a V-Trigger and OWA after rolling out of the way of a Phoenix Splash. It’s over, baby.
WINNERS: Kenny Omega & The Good Brothers
The trio and Don celebrate as Mox slowly saunters out on stage. The Young Bucks are soon to join him. They run in the ring as Kenny and The GBs bail. “Scolded dogs,” JR adds. Break time.
Back from it, Britt talks about building stars in AEW. She mentions how Thunder Rosa’s unsanctioned win weeks ago didn’t count since it was indeed unsanctioned.
The Bunny & Nyla Rose (w/ Hardy Family Office & Vickie Guerrero) vs. Tay Conti & Hikaru Shida (w/ Dark Order)
Matt Hardy tells us in the pre-match promo that Tay Conti will pay for the Dark Order’s sins.
Before the bell even rings, a brawl breaks out between all four women in the ring and once it does, Nyla and Shida start it off. Bunny gets tagged and talks smack to Shida. Shida grabs her and sends her into Tay who boots Bunny into a Shida Judo throw. The match spills to the outside as Shida and Nyla then battle back to the ring. Break time once more.
Back from it, Tay gets a fresh tag for some Judo throws. Bunny gets boot washed in the corner before punting her flush on the apron. She gives Bunny a spinning backbreaker right in front of Big Money Matt. A brawl breaks loose between Dark Order and HFO. Tay-KO to Bunny, but it’s broken up by Nyla. Tay and Shida dive onto the mass of humanity on the outside. Vickie Guerrero hops on the apron and it allows The Bunny to hit Tay with a Kendo and her “Down The Rabbit Hole” finisher for the W.
WINNERS: Nyla Rose & The Bunny
Next week, it’s Jurassic Express vs. Bear Country and it’s sponsored by Godzilla vs. Kong (and that’s a shoot, brother).
Kip Sabian & Miro vs. Orange Cassidy & Chuck Taylor
Neither team wastes any time as they get right to the action. Miro powers around Chuck with a fallaway slam. Orange sends Kip through the Whack-A-Mole backing and hits him with the hammer. Miro blindsides Orange and hits him in the back with the fluffy hammer. Miro grabs a barricade and leans it on another barricade. Orange and Chuck try to suplex Miro onto it, but Miro fights free and suplexes “Charles” onto it.
Miro takes a steel chair off the “prize rack” (costs 20,000 tickets, according to Tony Schiavone). Miro and Orange fight in the ring as Miro sends him headfirst into the chair wedged into the corner turnbuckles. “Miro sucks” chants as Chuck dives on top of him via a Mortal Kombat cabinet. Orange smashes Miro with a trash lid and Kip takes it to him with a kendo. They beat him down back and forth with weapon shots. Orange nails him with a running trash lid shot before they plow the big man over with a barricade. They pile a table, a barricade, and the Whack-a-Mole cabinet on him for a near fall, but Kip breaks it up. Belly to back to Chuck by Kip. Shotgun dropkick has Orange crashing through the prize rack.
Back in the ring, Chuck has a loaded Teddy Bear with LEGOs. Chuck goes to superplex Kip on top of them, but Kip drops off and powerbombs Chuck on top of the LEGOs. 1-2-Orange with the save! OC hits his special DDT and follows up with a Beach Break for a two count. Orange Punch. 1-2-Penelope pulls Aubrey out of the ring. Penelope low blows Orange on the outside. Penelope is by the claw machine and who emerges but Kris Statlander! She falcon arrows Ford through an air hockey table. Massive toss from Miro to Orange. He knocks away Chuck and has a steel chair. Shots to both men. The arcade cabinets watch on. Miro is on a warpath. He presents a table. Chuck and Orange crawl up the ramp and who appears but Sue and Trent! He comes out and helps his friends up. They all battle with Miro. They ping pong Miro back and forth with shots. Big kicks from Miro take out Orange and Chuck. He then battles of Trent into the concrete wall. He then begins to stalk Sue and her lovely fan. Trent comes to the rescue. He and Miro brawl, but Miro has a Mortal Kombat II cabinet and throws it at Trent but Trent moves and spears Miro through an errant table. Chuck hits Kip with a running power slam through the stage and gets the 1-2-3.
WINNERS: Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy
Post-match, the four friends embrace and Sue gives a thumbs up from her van.