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  • Writer's pictureCarlos Astorga

IMPACT Wrestling IPWF Throwback Throwdown III Results (12/02/2022)

“The Mysterious” Mr. E vs Lazer

We kick things off with an exclusive match between “The Mysterious” Mr. E and Lazer. The early advantage goes to Lazer as he clotheslines his opponent over the top rope to the floor. Lazer tests his strength but the size of Mr. E is too much to overcome. Mr. E heads to the top but Lazer cuts him off and sends him crashing to the mat. Mr. E spits a mysterious substance into the eyes of Lazer, followed by a double axe handle to win.

“The Mysterious” Mr. E def Lazer

Step out of the time machine and into the retro world of IPWF as IMPACT Plus presents Throwback Throwdown III streaming on IMPACT Plus, YouTube and FITE.

Giuseppe Scovelli Jr tells his father that he’s going to get his family out of its financial bind by selling IPWF to Walter Chestnut, the owner of Great Lakes Unionized Wrestling. Giuseppe Scovelli Sr says that he would never sell IPWF to Chestnut and because of their new television deal with a superstation called AXS, they don’t have to. Scovelli Jr reveals that he already sold his shares, leading to tonight’s main event. A 4-on-4 Rival Survival match pitting Team IPWF vs Team GLUW for control of the company.

Giuseppe Scovelli Jr and Pat Gorski are your commentators for tonight’s event.

IPWF’s student doctor Ross informs us that Downtown Daddy Brown will not be on Team IPWF tonight because his tires were slashed and he was unable to make it to the event. Giuseppe Scovelli Jr comes out and says that he will be final member instead.

Monty Moonlight vs Rapid Delivery Pete

Tonight’s first pay-per-view match sees Monty Moonlight face off against Rapid Delivery Pete. It doesn’t take long before Pete spills Moonlight’s drink. Moonlight takes a cheap shot to shut down his momentum. Moments later, Pete sends him face-first into the pizza box, then rolls him up for three.

Rapid Delivery Pete def Monty Moonlight

Dexter Petticoat interviews Bill Ding ahead of his match against Jack Hammer. Following the collapse of a building they worked on, Ding says that this construction sight isn’t big enough for the two of them as he vows to “clock out” Hammer for good.

Bill Ding vs Jack Hammer – Clock Out Match

In order to win this Clock Out match, you must retrieve the puncher from one corner of the ring and punch the time card in the opposite corner. Ding is about to use his tape measure as a weapon but Hammer avoids it. Ding shuts Hammer down with a big clothesline. Ding crashes and burns on a top rope leg drop attempt. Ding begs for mercy as Hammer hits him with a powerslam. Hammer soars with the Double Sledgehammer off the top rope. Hammer goes for the pin, forgetting the rules of the match. Both men are down following in-sync strikes to the head. Ding hits him in the head with the puncher, then punches the time card to win.

Bill Ding def Jack Hammer – Clock Out Match

Otto Ottoman interviews Walter Chestnut and the members of Team GLUW ahead of tonight’s Rival Survival match for control of IPWF. Ottoman asks him if he had anything to do with Downtown Daddy Brown not being able to make it tonight, considering he was the original leader of Team IPWF. Chestnut denies the allegations and unveils a GLUW banner before threatening to fire Ottoman.

Georgia Cobb vs Wanda The Werewoman w/ The $304,000 Man

The $304,000 Man unleashes his client on Georgia Cobb. Minutes into the match, Cobb hits a DDT for two. Cobb repeatedly drives Wanda’s head into the mat. Wanda rakes the back of Cobb with her claws, then tosses her to the outside. Wanda distracts the referee, allowing The $304,000 Man to attack Cobb on the floor. Cobb picks up Wanda on her shoulder, then spins her around to knock The $304,000 Man off his feet. Cobb clotheslines him over the top rope, then hits a running elbow on Wanda to score the victory.

Georgia Cobb def Wanda The Werewoman w/ The $304,000 Man

Ladybird Johnston Hosts The Tunnel of Love w/ Special Guest Tori Nailbiter

Music legend Tori Nailbiter joins Ladybird Johnston on the set of Tunnel of Love. Nailbiter says that he wanted to become a professional wrestler because the fans here are even better than the fans of rock n’ roll. Johnston asks Nailbiter who her new manager is going to be when “The Hit Maker” Sebastian Baker and Rusty Iron interrupt. Baker says that both he and Nailbiter are better than the nobodies here in North Carolina. Baker attempts to recruit Nailbiter to join The Hit Factory but she turns him down. Nailbiter says that she’s already chosen and her manager and everyone will find out who it is when he takes on Rusty Iron tonight.

Dexter Petticoat catches up with Brian “Bone” Crunchin after The Sunday Morning Express took out his partner in STOMP in Paradise, GI Broski. Crunchin reveals that that Broski will be out of action for over a month and tonight, he will go it alone against The Sunday Morning Express.

Editor in Chief gets on the mic and says that Brian “Bone” Crunchin is about to find out why The Sunday Morning Express always gets the scoop.

The Sunday Morning Express (Paper Boy & Editor In Chief) vs Brian “Bone” Crunchin

Crunchin is at a disadvantage as he faces both members of The Sunday Morning Express. Crunchin begins to build momentum with an elbow drop to Editor In Chief. Paper Boy takes a cheap shot from the apron but Crunchin makes him pay by knocking him to the floor. Editor In Chief capitalizes off the distraction as Paper Boy clobbers Crunchin with a rolled up newspaper. Now it’s Editor In Chief’s turn to use the newspaper as a weapon. Crunchin creates separation with a double clothesline when “The Dynamic Dude” Shane Douglas evens the odds. Crunchin takes care of Editor In Chief with a squirt gun while Douglas hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Paper Boy to win.

Brian “Bone” Crunchin & “The Dynamic Dude” Shane Douglas def The Sunday Morning Express (Paper Boy & Editor In Chief)

The Leaping Lords set their sights on the IPWF Tag Team Championship.

Monseur Baguette is disgusted by Winston-Salem and calls it a dump.

Monsieur Baguette vs “Ornery” Otis Oates

Winston-Salem’s own “Ornery” Otis Oates is here to defend his hometown against Monsieur Baguette. Oates drives his knee into the side of Baguette, sending him retreating to the outside. Baguette delivers an illegal closed fist to gain control. Oates fight back with a series of shots, then makes him dizzy with an airplane spin. Oates goes for the pin but Baguette gets his foot on the bottom rope. The referee is distracted, allowing Baguette to hit Oates with a literal baguette to win.

Monsieur Baguette def “Ornery” Otis Oates

Otto Ottoman continues to be at odds with Dexter Petticoat before interviewing 1980’s Rookie of the Year, Tommy Dreamer. His longstanding rivalry with Pelvis Wesley comes to a head tonight as Dreamer vows to leave IPWF forever if he cannot defeat him. But if he wins, he gets five minutes in the ring with Wesley’s manager, Colonel Corn.

Tommy Dreamer vs Pelvis Wesley w/ Colonel Corn – If Tommy Dreamer Wins, He Gets Five Minutes With Colonel Corn

Wesley repeatedly retreats to the outside to shake his hips. Dreamer has had enough and brings the fight to the floor. Dreamer puts his hands on Corn, allowing Wesley to drop Dreamer onto the steel guardrail. Dreamer avoids a leg drop from Wesley before biting him in the corner. Dreamer has him beat but Corn gets up on the apron to distract the referee. Wesley capitalizes with a neckbreaker but Dreamer kicks out at two. Dreamer spikes him with the DDT to score the victory.

Tommy Dreamer def Pelvis Wesley w/ Colonel Corn – If Tommy Dreamer Wins, He Gets Five Minutes With Colonel Corn

Tommy Dreamer is victorious, earning him five minutes with Colonel Corn. Before the match begins, Corn attacks Dreamer to gain the advantage.

Tommy Dreamer vs Colonel Corn

Dreamer is pumped up but Wesley hooks his leg from the outside. Dreamer locks in the Cobra Clutch as Wesley distracts the referee. Corn capitalizes and pokes Dreamer in the eye with a sharp object to win.

Colonel Corn def Tommy Dreamer

The Auto-Bodies send a message to Volcanic Activity ahead of their tag team match tonight.

The Auto-Bodies (Rusty Transmission & Smoky Muffler) vs Volcanic Activity (Lucy Luau & Tina Tiki)

The Auto-Bodies blindside Volcanic Activity to jumpstart the action but Volcanic Activity turn the tide with a pair of clotheslines. Luau uses her dance moves to avoid Muffler’s offense. Luau takes Muffler off her feet with a step up crossbody. Tiki continues the attack with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Transmission gains control off a sidewalk slam to Tiki. Both competitors are down following a double hairpull from Transmission and Tiki. Luau hits a double DDT but Transmission breaks the count moments later. Muffler hits Luau in the head with a wrench to score the victory.

The Auto-Bodies (Rusty Transmission & Smoky Muffler) def Volcanic Activity (Lucy Luau & Tina Tiki)

Dexter Petticoat interviews Giuseppe Scovelli Sr and Team IPWF ahead of tonight’s Rival Survival Match with Team GLUW.

Johnny Swinger vs “Fleet Feet” Keaton Fox vs “Bully” Biff Knuckles – Triangle Match for the Vacant Exciting Division Championship

History will be made tonight as the first ever Exciting Division Champion is crowned in the unique concept called the Triangle Match. Swinger heads to the top rope but gets scared, instead launching himself off the apron. Knuckles rips off the shoe of Fox and hits him in the head with it. Knuckles locks in a devastating claw submission but Swinger fights out of it. Swinger retrieves Fox’s shoe that Knuckles stole earlier and gives it back to him. Swinger and Fox work together to take out Knuckles but it’s every man for himself. Swinger secures the Figure Four Leg Lock on Knuckles, then rolls up Fox to win.

Johnny Swinger def “Fleet Feet” Keaton Fox & “Bully” Biff Knuckles – NEW Exciting Division Champion

Tori Nailbiter reveals that her new manager is the huge star, Ricky Morton.

Rusty Iron w/ “The Hit Maker” Sebastian Baker vs Tori Nailbiter w/ Ricky Morton

Nailbiter has Iron reeling in the early going as she delivers a flurry of offense. Nailbiter hits repeated headbutts in the corner, knocking out both her and her opponent. Baker trips up Nailbiter from the outside, allowing Iron to capitalize off the distraction. Morton pumps up the crowd, giving Nailbiter the inspiration she needs to create separation. Nailbiter explodes with a powerslam, then locks in the Sharpshooter. Nailbiter narrowly avoids being spiked with a nail. Outside the ring, Morton neutralizes the threat of Baker. Nailbiter uses the nail against Iron, then hits a top rope crossbody to win.

Tori Nailbiter w/ Ricky Morton def Rusty Iron w/ “The Hit Maker” Sebastian Baker

Dexter Petticoat confronts Otto Ottoman during his interview with Sonny Sanders and chases him to the back. Sanders introduces his newest talent acquisition, “Nature Boy” Buck Humphrey who is out for revenge after 2Large ended the in-ring career of Sanders.

Otto Ottoman joins Pat Gorski on commentary as Giuseppe Scovelli Jr prepares to compete in the main event.

“Nature Boy” Buck Humphrey w/ Sonny Sanders & Baby Doll vs DJ 2Large

Humphrey struggles to take 2Large off his feet in the opening moments of the match. 2Large uses his unique dance move offensive style to bring the fight to Humphrey. Humphrey chops the chest of 2Large but it has no effect. Sanders confronts 2Large, allowing Humphrey to attack him from behind. Sanders gets involved once again, this time with his tennis racket to take out 2Large. Humphrey locks in the Figure Four Leg Lock as Sanders gives him extra leverage from the outside. 2Large reverses the pressure but Humphrey makes it to the bottom rope. Humphrey uses brass knuckles for a very close near fall. Baby Doll pulls the referee out of the ring but Humphrey inadvertently nails Sanders with his tennis racket. 2Large hits the Discus Lariat to win.

DJ 2Large def “Nature Boy” Buck Humphrey w/ Sonny Sanders & Baby Doll

After the match, DJ 2Large entices Baby Doll to leave the arena with him.

Team GLUW (Neptune, Devon Damon, Lord Humongous & Manfred The Mad Mammal) w/ Walter Chestnut vs Team IPWF (Frank the Butcher, Tim Burr, Cowboy Colt McCoy & Giuseppe Scovelli Jr) w/ Giuseppe Scovelli Sr – Rival Survival Match for Control of IPWF

The Rival Survival match will continue until one team is completely eliminated. The stakes are high as control of IPWF is on the line. The bell rings and chaos ensues as a huge brawl breaks out. Frank squares off with Lord Humongous but Damon knees him in the back from the apron. Lord Humongous delivers a big boot to eliminate Frank. Manfred bites McCoy but McCoy then tricks him into biting his own partner. McCoy and Tim join forces to topple Lord Humongous. Scovelli Jr tags into the match but quickly tweaks his ankle on a springboard attempt. Manfred distracts the referee, allowing Team GLUW to deliver a double team attack. Tim trips up Neptune and pins him for the elimination. Scovelli Jr is laid out after injuring his ankle earlier on. Tim hits the double axe-handle to eliminate Damon. Lord Humongous inadvertently tosses the axe to Tim, who gets caught using it for the disqualification elimination. McCoy connects with a top rope double dropkick on Manfred and Lord Humongous. Giuseppe Scovelli Sr takes his son’s place in the match and tags in with a burst of speed and momentum. Scovelli and McCoy hit in-sync stunners on Manfred and Lord Humongous. There’s no referee but Scovelli Jr comes in and makes the three count, awarding the victoryIPto Team IPWF.

Team IPWF (Frank the Butcher, Tim Burr, Cowboy Colt McCoy & Giuseppe Scovelli Jr) w/ Giuseppe Scovelli Sr – Rival Survival Match for Control of IPWF def Team GLUW (Neptune, Devon Damon, Lord Humongous & Manfred The Mad Mammal) w/ Walter Chestnut – Rival Survival Match for Control of IPWF

After the match, Giuseppe Scovelli Sr sends a physical message to Walter Chestnut by slamming him hard into the mat. The Scovelli family retains control of IPWF at Throwback Throwdown III.


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