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  • Writer's pictureCarlos Astorga

Impact Wrestling Throwback Throwdown Results 11/26

We open with an old school video package, and Josh & Don welcome us to the show in their wacky 80s personas; Don is Edge’s old Sexton Hardcastle persona. This show is promoted by the IPWF (IMPACT PROVINCIAL WRESTLING FEDERATION).

Gutter punk grappler Rip Rayzer (Ace Austin) vs. pizza boy pugilist Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann): Pete tries to buy him off with Pizza, but Rip attacks and trips up Pete and follows with a takedown. The hip toss follows and then arm drags. Pete battles back, but Rip hits a slam for 2. He grounds the action but Pete battles back with a dropkick and slam. The special delivery splash scores the win. Rapid Delivery Pete defeated Rip Rayzer via pin

Julian Cumberbun (Ethan Page) and Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan as a Cornette cosplay) arrive for interview time. They talk about tonight’s “International Commonwealth Television Title – Loser Leaves Town Match” against Downtowm Daddy Brown (Willie Mack),and after Cumberbun wins, they are celebrating with cheeseburgers. Cumberbun says he made this town, and if the didn’t have the strap, the pay window would be closed. You need to thank him for the house. Downtown arrives and Cumberbun runs him down and tells him to quit dreaming. Downtown says the people didn’t pay to hear Cumberbun talk and will take that championship tonight, as he takes him downtown. Sanders low blows Downtown but Cumberbun accidentally hits Sanders as Downtown rips off Cumberbun’s suit in a tribute to Dusty & Flair.

We get a Fabulous Ones tribute video for The Hard Workers – Oats (Cody Deaner) & Hall (Cousin Jake).

Xcessive Force – Pummel (D’Lo Brown) & Plunder (Fallah Bahh) as a savage/Demolition style tag team are interviewed. They face the Hard Workers tonight and promise to win tonight.

The Hard Workers – Oats (Cody Deaner) & Hall (Cousin Jake) vs. the monsters of mayhem Xcessive Force – Pummel (D’Lo Brown) & Plunder (Fallah Bahh): Xcessive Force attack at the bell and run wild. They isolate and double team Oats, follow with head butts and Oates fires back. Hall joins in but Oats is cut off. Pummel tags in and maintains control. The nerve pinch follows, and Oats fires up, struts and makes the tag. Hall runs wild, hits clotheslines and the slam to Pummel follows. The straps are down and strikes follow. Oats tags in and the sunset flip gets the win. The Hard Workers defeated Xcessive Force @ 4:10 via pin

Post match, Xcessive Force attacks and crushes their top hats.

Coming next week, the surfer tag team of The New Wave (The Crists) debut.

Hot Newcomer Johnny Swinger vs. Buck Gunderson: Thy lockup and Swinger attacks with strikes and back rake. The backdrop follows, and Swinger rakes the eyes. He follows with stomps and strikes. Gunderson fights back with a back rake but Swinger cuts him off and the neck breaker finishes it. Hot Newcomer Johnny Swinger defeated Buck Gunderson via pin

Frank the Butcher (Rhino) is coming to the territory.

The Rough Riders, Georgia Cobb (Jordynne Grace), Ladybird Johnston (Havok), Mildred Moore (Alexia Nicole) & Blanche Ardmore (Tessa Blanchard) are interviewed. They will come on you harder than anyone has ever come on you and will takeover the territory. They can’t imagine anyone would want to step to them and it doesn’t matter who faces them because they will rough ride allover you and will go back to the Marriott and they will be the leaders of the rat brigade as the love tunnel will be open all night long.

We get a localized promo for “a live event.”

Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) vs. the siren of suds Agnes Beerheart (Alisha Edwards): They lock up and Jazzy takes her down. Sebastian Baker (Jimmy Jacobs) arrives at ringside. Beerheart attacks and tosses Jazzy across the ring and the suplex follows for 2. They work into a double down and Jazzy then fires back, hits clotheslines and follows with a squatting slam, She Jazzercises on her back and the second rope splash finishes it. Jazzy Fitbody defeated Agnes Beerheart via pin

Post match, Sebastian tries to recruit Jazzy, and Jazzy signs with him. She then low blows him and rips up the contact.

The Rough Riders – Georgia Cobb (Jordynne Grace), Ladybird Johnston (Havok), Mildred Moore (Alexia Nicole) & Blanche Ardmore (Tessa Blanchard) vs. a squad featuring the mighty Ontario oak Tim Burr (Josh Alexander), the man who puts the ‘physical’ in Physical Education Jim Nassium (Dez), the architect of pain Bill Ding (Trey) & race car superstar Ray Strack (Wentz): Bill Ding talks some shit and Blanche locks up with him and takes control. Dig takes time to shave with an electric shaver and tags out to Strack. Cobb is then cradled for 2. She cuts him off and Nassium tags in. Moore tags in with him and Nassium works drills, jumping jacks and is cut off, Ladybird tags in and works a bear hug on Burr. He escapes and follow with chops off the ropes and a double axe handle for 2. Ladybird cuts him off and chops him down. They trade and Moore tags in, Strack hits superkicks for all, runs wild on all four and covers for 2. He heads up top and the splash misses, and Blanche pins him with the buzzsaw DDT. The Rough Riders defeated Tim Burr, Jim Nassium, Bill Ding, & Ray Strack via pin

$3,000 Body Slam Challenge – Anyone who can bodyslam the wildman Kongo Kong will claim $3,000. Featuring the King of the Great White North Muscles McGee (Brian Cage) and golden boy Mr. Atlantis: Atlantis arrives first and he fails and gets beat down until proud Canadian hero Muscles McGee makes the save. Kong attacks and McGee battles back, and slams Kong. He takes the money, $3,000… Canadian.

In two-weeks, Tommy Dreamer, the greatest IPWF champion returns to get his title back. Jack Tunney suspended him last year after using a piledriver, so he broke Bruno’s neck and slapped Vince McMahon’s son Vinny Jr and doesn’t care if it’s Race, Rhodes, The Briscoes, Backlund, the Funks. Bockwinkle or anyone, he will take his title back you egg sucking dogs.

Interview time with The Cock Pit with Captain Joystick (Joey Ryan), accompanied by Miss Mile High (Kiera Hogan). DJ 2Large (Moose) is the guest. Joystick messes with him, refusing to allow him to talk. And puts himself over but Miss Mile High has the hots for DJ 2Large. DJ 2Large cuts him off and busts out a rap on Joystick and they brawl as Joystick lays him out and leaves with Miss Mile High.

The suplex sultan Gama Singh vs. the rough ‘n’ tumble Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards): Singh blinded McCoy with a fireball last month to set up this match. Dada Singh is at ringside. McCoy reportedly has a grandson who is an accomplished quarterback. They stumble around with the fans helping McCoy. Gama takes off the blindfold and attacks as Dada takes the ref. Gama fights the air, and McCoy trips him up. Dada takes the ref, McCoy takes him out and stuns Gama for the win. Colt McCoy defeated Gama Singh via pin

Post match, Colt is interviewed and he says he’s farm strong. The Soviets (Elgin & Fulton) attack him and choke him out with the Russian chain. They attack Giuseppe the owner lay the Russian flag over Colt in a tribute to the old Bill Watts angle.

Giuseppe Jr (Josh) talks about he attack on his father and Giuseppe Sr. (Scott D’Amore) throws a fit and cuts a promo. He vows revenge on the Soviets, and next week, he’ll lace up the boots one more time and team with Colt to beat the Soviets back to where they came from. “Please go to the concession stand, hot dogs and popcorn are now half off.”

Champion Julian Cumberbun (Ethan Page) vs. Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack): Sonny Sanders is at ringside. They lock up and work to he ropes as Cumberbun attacks with cheap shots. He’s cut off and Cumberbun does some gloriously ridiculous selling in the ropes before spilling to the floor. Brown follows him out as Cumberbun hides in the crowd. Brown finds him and attacks, back in Cumberbun begs off as Brown follows with strikes and Sanders hits him with the tennis racket. Cumberbun covers for 2 and then chokes him out.

He dumps brown as Sanders lays the boots to Brown. Sanders rolls him back in and Cumberbun follows with stomps. He locks on the figure four, Sanders helps out and Brown fights. Brown rolls it but Cumberbun makes the ropes. They trade strikes, Brown is down and Cumberbun lays in elbow strikes. He fights off the sunset flip, the ref kicks his hands away from Sanders and Brown gets 2. Cumberbun grounds the action, whips him to the corner, misses a charge and Brown fires back with strikes and elbow The bionic elbow follow for 2 as Sanders puts Cumberbun’s foot on the ropes. Sanders takes the ref, Brown attacks, and Cumberbun uses the racket and covers for 2. Cumberbun runs into Sanders and Brown cradles him for the win. Downtown daddy Brown defeated Champion Julian Cumberbun via pin

The faces celebrate with Brown to close the show.


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